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Posts Tagged ‘Advertising’

The coolest trailer mash up ever.

Really.

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Men are rarely subjected to this kind of tampered image of beauty, but women face it beginning when they are quite young, and it follows them until the day they can finally convince themselves that it’s fake and not worth the stress (which may or may not happen in their lifetime).

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Ladies and gentlemen, please drop whatever you are doing that you believe to be of significance because, unless it involves blood squirting from an open wound, childbirth, or taxes, it really pales in comparison with this:

Plastic Fist is now showing!

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, true to all preconceived, conceived, produced, repeated, imitated, re-hashed, reinvented, dismissed, forgotten, dug up, and re-re-hashed ideas of reality TV, FOX will be producing an American-Idol-style show called “On the Lot,” in which undiscovered filmmakers go head-to-head each week to write, direct, shoot and edit short films that will be judged by the teeming masses (that would be you). The losers will be dismissed from the show in what will undoubtedly be overly dramatic fashion.

Some friends of mine (well, mostly my younger brother’s friends, but I know most of them and hey, they know me as well) have entered a video in the competition that, in my unremunerated opinion, is quite entertaining and actually funny. It’s called Plastic Fist, and you can see it now “on the lot.” It would mean a lot to me, and might make some inroads into my actually becoming a paid endorser, if you signed up for a free account here so that you can rate the video when you’re done watching it.

You know you want to watch Plastic Fist. Plastic Fist is your friend. Plastic Fist is full of plastic kung fu action goodness. Plastic Fist has no trans fat, no nutritional value, and no known side effects. You do not need your parents’ permission to watch Plastic Fist. So what are you waiting for? Watch Plastic Fist now!

If you’re still reading this (shame on you! Go watch Plastic Fist already!) and want to know more about the show, here’s how they describe it themselves:

ON THE LOT, executive-produced by Mark Burnett and Steven Spielberg, will give aspiring filmmakers from around the world the chance to earn a $1-million development deal at DreamWorks.

Airing next spring on FOX, this unscripted series will feature a cast of 16 undiscovered filmmakers who will compete to win the support of the show’s viewers, as their fate will be decided by a weekly audience vote.

The competition will air over two nights weekly, with a one-hour “Film Premiere” episode, followed the next night by a half-hour “Box Office” results show.

After a global search, applicants will be winnowed to a group of 16 talented filmmakers. These finalists will be brought to Hollywood, where they will be divided into teams and begin the journey toward their “big break.”

Every week, the hopeful filmmakers will produce short films from a chosen genre, running the gamut from comedies to thrillers, personal dramas to romance, sci-fi to horror. They’ll have access to the best resources the industry has to offer — professional writers, cast and crew, and maybe even Hollywood celebrities.

After the teams have battled time frames, budgets and all the usual chaos that goes along with filmmaking, their films will debut and be critiqued in front of a live audience during the “Film Premiere” episode. Judges will include a high-ranking motion picture executive, a prominent film critic and a succession of well-respected guests, such as directors who are experts in the week’s featured genre. But the filmmakers ultimately will be judged by the harshest critics of all … the public.

It will be FOX viewers whose votes determine which film should be left on the cutting-room floor. On the next night’s “Box Office” results show, the director whose feature garners the fewest votes will be sent home.

The competition continues and directors are eliminated until only the most talented filmmaker is anointed the winner and heads to DreamWorks … ON THE LOT.

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Well, with the summer coming soon and vacation plans being made, I am putting out a sincere plea for you to vacation in sunny (sometimes blisteringly so) Wamego this year. As you’re making your plans, consider arranging your travels around Wamego’s major holiday seasons:

The Tulip Festival: And if you think it’s a sissy festival, you’d be wrong. Here in Wamego, they are serious about their tulips (Hey, we were told by some realtors that if we didn’t get our tulips up in time, we’d be shunned from the community. Why do you think we tried rushing the closing date on our house? It didn’t have anything to do with the fact that we needed a place to live). In April, Wamego is in full bloom for it’s annual (not perennial) tulip festival. It includes “hand-craft artisans, entertainment, food and fun for all ages.” Even you, twenty-somethings (Or thirty-somethings. Happy Birthday, Rik!).

The 4th of July Spectacular: 5 days of carnival rides followed by the Walter P. Chrysler (born in Wamego) Car show and remote-control car races. Then, prepare to be amazed by the Annual Antique Tractor and Engine Show. Shortly after that is the Wamego Historical Society Ice Cream Social and the United Methodist Church’s Pork Sandwich Feed, which advertises air conditioning as a major perk. Ongoing is the Pottowatomie County Republican Free Watermelon Feed (Don’t worry, I think they’ll even feed you California Democrats). But don’t get too involved, because you would hate to miss the annual parade, the longest running Independence Day Parade in Kansas! And lastlyyes the fun does eventually have to come to an endis the famous Fireworks display. If my ad doesn’t get you revved, just read what the Chamber of Commerce says about it:

Prepare to get rocked by the largest and most intense hand-fired fireworks display in the USA! Over 10,000 shells will be fired in under 30 minutes. That’s 350 shells per minute! Launch site is just south of the Dutch Mill.

Hope to see you there. We’ll be saving seats North of the Pavilion.

The Ridiculous Days: Is it as Ridiculous as it seems? Probably, but that’s what makes it so fun. And, seeing as this is one of Wamego’s smaller celebrations, chances are there will be a vacancy in casa Andes. The sidewalk sales begin mid-August and promise “prices so low they’re ridiculous, as well as ridiculous amounts of fun for children and adults alike.” Last year, Ridiculous Days began with a ridiculously mysterious guest, a digital photo scavenger hunt, free children’s movie at the Library, and a salsa contest (not the dancing type, the chips and dip type). But my absolute favoriteand a hit, I’m sure, with the touristsis the Rock/Paper/Scissors tournament. I hope they do that one again this year! But don’t forget the Wamego Citizen throwing a Watermelon off the roof of the Pharmacy, the Lemonade Stand Contest, Bicycle Parade, Water Balloon Contest, and free swim at the Wamego City Pool. If that doesn’t get you here, frankly, I don’t know what would.

Oztoberfest: A Wamego favoritethe city goes Wizard of Oz for the month of October. The highlight of the event is undoubtedly the Munchkins. The city brings in the last living, original Munchkins from the movie to sign autographs and take pictures. There is also Roger and Robert Baum, great-grandsons of L.Frank Baum and celebrities in their own right. There’s also book signings from great movie legend writers and Judy Garland specialists, as well as Old Time Medicine Show from Professor Farquar and Pole Cat Annie. Don’t forget the childrenthere is also the Munchkin PlayLand, and a free showing of The Wizard of Oz in the park (weather permitting, but I suggest you pack zero-degree bags). And if that isn’t enough to tire even the greatest, you can also participate in the Yellow Brick Road Ride, or watch the Columbian Theatre do it’s annual stage production of the movie, including cameos from the original Munchkins (weekend of event only). Oh, and sorry I forgot, since it’s open year round, don’t forget to go to the Oz Museum, discount prices this month only (for a dollar more you can include a tour of the Columbian Theatre, which displays art work from the World Fair). Despite the rain this past year, it was a classy little event. You can read my review here of last years OztoberFest. But arrange lodging early, as this is Wamego’s premiere event, and it attracts Oz fans from all over the world (and Kansas).

And Last, but not least is…

The Christmas Parade and Celebration: Wamego really “lights” up for this yearly Christmas celebration. Last year’s theme, “Walking in Wamego’s Winter Wonderland,” was a hit with natives and tourists alike. It included the Wamego Christmas Parade that ended at City Park for the tree lighting ceremony (and I really do mean trees). There is also the Gingerbread making contest and various visits from Santa Claus throughout the month. My daughter thinks Santa must really love Wamego, because last Christmas he came here no less than 3 times. So, if it’s good enough for Santa, it’s good enough for YOU!

But don’t forget our ongoing visitor sites, such as those I already mentioned (The Columbian Theatre, which is doing “The Sunshine Boys” for the month of February, the Oz Museum), as well as Wamego City Park (voted one of the best parks to picnic at in the state of Kansas), home to the Dutch Mill and historic Prairie Town. There is also the birth-home of Walter P. Chrysler that will soon be the site of the new Visitors’ Center and the Kansas Territorial Press, our own historic printing museum. Hey, and for the avid weatherman (or woman), Tornado Season starts in April and goes to June! There’s lots to see and lots to do in the ever inventive city of Wamego, but don’t forget the best sight of all: us!

(Oh, and P.S. Don’t forget to pack your Bug Spray, you’ll be needing it!)

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You see, it’s nothing that you’d really want to win. It’s sponsored by Roto-Rooter—you know, the plumbing guys—so the prize is understandably plumbing related. It’s just what they do.

It’s a toilet.

See? I told you didn’t want to enter the “Pimped Out John” sweepstakes because you already have a perfectly functioning commode in your home (or place of employment, which works just as well). So what if your water closet doesn’t come with a laptop (with a USB-powered beverage cooler/warmer), 20″ LCD TV, Xbox 360 Core gaming system, TiVo, progressive-scan DVD player, 30GB iPod with stereo dock (that also dispenses toilet paper), personal cooling fan, dual-sided magnification mirror, resistive pedal exerciser, megaphone (just in case you run out of paper), and compact refrigerator (with keg tap).

You really don’t want all that cluttering up your bathroom, right? You certainly wouldn’t want to have to go through all the trouble of going to the website every day to enter the sweepstakes, just to increase your chances of winning. It’s just not worth your time, really.

So, trust me when I say that you really don’t want to check out their website and gawk at all the gadgets and doo-dads coming out of this toilet because, frankly, drool isn’t that becoming on a mature and responsible adult like you.

So please, don’t visit their website. Don’t enter the sweepstakes. And really, don’t tell your friends about this massive waste of space and technology.

Because I want it all to myself.

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Kids safety labels we want to see… Originally uploaded by pt.

i’ve been thinking about the “branding” of america’s kids for a while now, and there’s some really interesting commentary for parents here, where you can get a much bigger shot of these labels and have a good read of what they say. give it a shot, and let me know what you think.

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Every once in a while, I stop and reflect on how every advertisement seems to have been done before by somebody else. That there’s nothing new, or refreshing. Nothing really catchy. Well, now, somebody has had a few bright ideas. The real problem is now that somebody else actually took them seriously.

My absolute favorite is the pizza ad.

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